Meet Tanya, a single mom of three who runs three businesses (one with her children), likes a little chaos to balance out her calming and therapeutic job as an esthetician, and is adamant that kids need to learn to earn, save and spend money responsibly.
Where are you from originally?
New Jersey but I grew up in Irvine and lived there since I was 9. I moved to Lake Forest, Huntington Beach and Newport Beach before and after college.
What are your favorite things to do with your kids in general or in town?
We love going to SeaLegs at the Beach in Huntington where we can ride bikes along the boardwalk, play in the sand, and listen to live music together. They have the best micheladas in town and one of the only places I have been to where live music, kids and dogs can hang out together for FREE. The best part of SeaLegs is that you can sit right on the beach, grab a blanket and watch the sunset while listening to great music.
What has been the most difficult age with your children to date? What helped you overcome the challenges at that time?
It’s hard to remember, since the first six years were a blur, but I think the most difficult age with my children was 2-3 years old. But those were also the hardest and most difficult years for me personally and mentally, and there’s certainly a link between the two. It wasn’t just that my kids were hard to deal with, it was hard to deal with myself and the sadness and loss that I felt. I was barely able to take care if myself, let alone three infants. What helped me overcome all of these challenges was the choice to focus on my true passions in life – skincare and entrepreneurship. I took a leap of faith and started my own skincare boutique, Bombshell Beauty and Skincare, and took all my negative emotions and channeled it into something creative and positive. Instead of focusing on my loss and sadness, I focused on building my own business from scratch, which helped me heal mentally every single day.
What is one piece of advice you would pass along to other moms?
Embrace Solitude. Moms are surrounded by kids, spouses, colleagues, and family constantly needing something and we tend to forget how to be alone. I know how uncomfortable it is to be alone, but it is the greatest gift to give ourselves. Go see a sunset at the beach or have dinner at your favorite restaurant alone. Take a cooking class, art class or go to the theater by yourself. I think moms forget the necessity of solitude and the power of resetting the mind, which then in return, resets the soul. I truly believe you become a better spouse and mom from simple acts of solitude.
What was the best advice your mom gave you?
PICK YOUR BATTLES. Since I’ve taken this advice to heart, my life has changed drastically. Sometimes you just have to say “F it” and let the small things we want to control (but realize it is not worth the energy) go. I try to fight the battles that really matter and those that will make my life easier, not harder.
What do you most value in your friends?
Their raw honesty, deep vulnerability, shamelessness and the laughter and support they give me every single day. I would be a mess without my friends.
What was your career before having children?
Currently I have three businesses that have developed before and after I had kids. Bombshell Beauty and Skincare has been my main career for over 15 years now (yikes where did the time go), and is the passion that runs through my veins. I started my esthetician career years before I had kids, but started my own business during the darkest years of my life. I created Skin Aligned, my amazing (swear I’m not biased) hydrating face balms, during the lightest years of my life when I found the power of spirituality which silenced all the resentment and animosity I had and was left with a self awareness and gratitude for the path my life ended up on. I started our family business, Hyper House Sweets, Gourmet Cotton Candy Bar, last summer with my kids and it is, by far, my proudest creation to date. Not only do we spend quality time together working and saving money for vacations and fun times, but my kids are also learning about entrepreneurship. A subject not taught in schools, learning how to earn, save and spend money responsibly is truly one of the most important lessons in life. The joy of serving cotton candy together, as a family, has started to teach my kids these invaluable lessons, in addition to building confidence, learning finance and understanding pride of ownership.
How do you balance career and motherhood?
Honestly the only answer I can give to how I balance career and motherhood is my divorce. 50% of my life I focus 100% on ME, and 50% of my life I spend 100% on my KIDS. This balance of solitude and chaos allows me to recharge as a woman and as a mom. It took me many years to realize what a gift this was and often refer to it as a ‘perk of divorce’.
How do you relax and unwind?
One night a week after work when I don’t have my kids, I go to a few of my favorite bars and listen to live music and play pool. My job is so therapeutic and spiritual that sometimes after ten hours of being in my most sacred place, in a small dark room with soft music, I need some noise, chaos and a challenging sport to balance me out.
Favorite thing to do?
LIVE MUSIC anywhere, anytime!
March is Women’s History Month and such a great time to celebrate strong women, past and present. Thank you so much for sharing your story and reminding us that we are oftentimes stronger than we think.
I would love to be involved in women’s event and organizations that would help newly separated or divorced women get through the darkest times of their lives and possibly want to start their own business. I have so many stories to share on how I went from the fetal position in my closet, defeated, to the happiest self I could ever imagine. I am truly the biggest cheerleader for women who want to thrive and be independent in this world!